Birth & The Magic Mirror Gate
We all know that there is value in setting goals. But somehow when it comes to birthing our baby many will shy away from setting the goal for the birth experience that they actually dream of. I can't tell you how many times I have asked a woman what her goal is and have heard, I would like to go as far as I can unmedicated but am open to an epidural. But as I look into her eyes, I see that the answer is very different from what she just spoke.
Birth is like looking into the Magic Mirror Gate of the Never Ending Story. Atreyu, the warrior, must go through this Magic Mirror Gate, but This gate has supposedly driven men mad. As these strong brave men approach the gate they are shown to be sniveling cowards. Or Honest men are shown to be lying cheats.
Somehow, intuitively, most women know that the journey of birth will bring them to Atreyu Magic Mirror gate. It is a mirror that we have to each look into and learn who we truly are. And some of us are afraid to really look into that mirror and see our true selves. The power behind setting a birthing goal is, when we have decided that we are going to try to achieve this thing, we will typically push ourselves harder and further than had we not created that goal in the 1st place.
Although setting a goal can bring with it the possibility of failure, it also brings a real motivation to succeed. None of us want to look into the mirror and see failure. We all want to be successful, we all want to know that we set a goal and achieved it. Because we don't want to fail we are more likely to spend more time in education, we might push ourselves a little bit harder in our practice, and do the things that we think that we need to do even when we're tired, even when we feel like we can't do it. we're more likely to push ourselves just a bit further than what is comfortable, just to be successful because we set that goal.
One thing that I have noticed over the years is when a woman decides she is going to birth her baby in a particular way and she holds that as a decision or a truth, 9 times out of 10 she will achieve that goal. Also when a woman tells me that she would like to go unmedicated as long as possible but is definitely open to an epidural 9 times out of 10 exactly that will happen. Why 9 times out of 10? Because if Birth was a theatrical play, there are 2 lead roles, you and your baby. Sometimes things are just out of your control but when you look back at the experience you would be able to see Your role in the play versus another person's role in the play. someone else's role in the play doesn't have any impact on you when you look in the mirror. The point is, what we envision and what we speak, whether from a place of strength or fear, is what we will create.
So I challenge you to sit quietly for a few moments and think about what you truly want this birth experience to look like. And as thoughts or images of doubts or negativity begin to appear take a moment and ask yourself is this what I want and if the answer is no, then note that these doubts are there and that they may come up but also know that you have the ability to create a different image. Address the thoughts of doubt and address the fears that are coming up. you might find, after some research, that they are unfounded, that they actually have a low probability of occurring and once you realize that, then you can move forward with this beautiful image that you've created in your mind. Practice seeing that image of your desired birth experience over and over in your mind and I can say from experience that there is a high probability that your birth experience will unfold just like you have envisioned. And when you arrive at the magic mirror gate, you can see a person who knew what they wanted and went for it.